love

Is not the aim of most people to become happy, however one might define contentedness? A solid relationship, a meaningful vocation when possible, achievable goals, a healthy lifestyle? Perhaps loves for nature, reading, the arts, or sincere spirituality?

This elusive quest of attaining happiness can be undertaken in a variety of manners. Often, we do not allow ourselves to permanently indulge in happiness’ healthy pursuit for our well-being. Yet, happiness is a deserved aim that yearns to graft itself onto our heart of hearts.

Allergies were always foreign to me. I had been around others who couldn't function without some form of antihistamine -- or even function while medicated, should the meteorological and environmental conditions conspire so conveniently. Mid-March of this year introduced me to a supremely slow-burn (foreshadowing pun) of an extended allergic reaction – sans allergies – which is presently nearly defeated but obstinately hanging on for dear life even as I write this in June. I understand now. The most trying situations are often the most memorable to facilitate experience for future benefit.

In the midst of busy work schedules and obligations, we will inevitably run out of steam if we don’t take some much needed time for ourselves to decompress. Self-care practices act as a reboot and refresh button to our systems. Allowing ourselves to do something good for our mental and physical well-being is absolutely essential to keeping the gears turning smoothly.  

We meandered through the bookstore aisles, my bright-eyed friend and I, the titles inspiring forks and bends in what was already a beautifully flowing stream of conversation. This was typical of times with Gabe, a soul on fire with whom there was never a shortage of awe-fueled adventure or enlivening discussion. He carried the kind of light that always stuck around for a while after he left, illuminating passageways of perception previously undetected.

Right Speech can mean speaking skillfully, or it can mean choosing to remain silent. The space between stimulus and reaction is a perfect place to decide whether to speak out or keep quiet—at least temporarily—especially if emotional feelings and thoughts are arising.

When emotions and egos collude harsh words can be spoken with lightning speed and later regretted. Words, thoughts and actions arise together and support each other; we live each moment either peacefully or violently. The choice is obvious, but access to this wisdom requires more practice than perfection.

Meditation is a great way to forget about you problems and just relax in a worry-free environment. But what do you do when your problems are too big to just forget about? Having these problems on your mind while you are trying to meditate can disrupt your practice and make it difficult for you to relax. Everyone has these types of large problems that are hard not to think about from time to time, but when you do have these problems, it is important to know how to handle them, and how to adjust your meditation practice accordingly.

All of those relationship clichés (that ring true) like compromise, active listening, and appreciation all lead to the same end goal. However, striving towards balance is a lot easier said than done. This should be the ultimate destination in any relationship whether with a boyfriend, wife, mother, son, colleague, or close friend. To make things even more challenging, the definition of balance is subjective and ever-evolving.

When you fall down, you are getting somewhere!

Twice in one week I witnessed two complete strangers lose their footing, stumble, and fall. Both falls occurred within two or three feet of me in public places, so I was the first person to help these people who had fallen get back on their feet. Luckily, neither person experienced any injuries, and it was heart warming to see how many other complete strangers came to their assistance.

My family and ancestors are from the tropics. The seasons they experienced were the harmattan and rain.  Even though I find comfort and ease in warm weather, I acknowledge that I was raised in New England. I’ve faced many climates growing up on the east coast. I must say, navigating the winters of my life have always been the hardest. The sunlight left too soon and the darkness would stay too long.  The snow could be unbearable. When another six feet of snow came down, I would throw my hands up in exasperation, believing the storms would never end.

As simple as this sounds, letting go of pain is not always easy! There can be hidden aspects of pain that provide our ego with a pay-off, making it quite difficult to see our pain gone. In self-healing, the questioning of our ego’s investment in the symptom of our suffering is a vital modality and can often provide a pivotal shift in our healing process.