Surrender

Mercury and Venus are two planets whose energies works together to help us in our ability to make decisions.  In the zodiac, they are never too far apart as their orbits are closer to the Sun.  Very often, in fact, they are in the same sign and conjunct.  At times it seems like they are inseparable and their energies are very synergistic towards each other.  In Vedic Astrology, they are known to be mutual friends towards each other which means that each’s natural characteristics and qualities complements those of the other.  Now let’s look at how they work together.

Let’s say that one is on a sports team and their ultimate goal is to win a championship.  However, the current incarnation of the team just doesn’t allow for this.  Let’s say that the necessary changes to be made and the only way for this to happen is to marginalize one’s input, recognition, and utilization.  Other people need to be brought in and new strategies need to be employed which will move the needle towards the goal, but comes at this self-detriment.

The thought occurred to me today that if energy flows where attention goes then the $10 billion dollar a year self-improvement industry in the U.S. alone is actually contributing to the perpetuating mental and emotional belief that “you are not enough” exactly the way you are. This contradicts every sacred text and teaching that I have ever come across. You exist therefore you are enough. Your essence was born from the frequency of the Source of all life. That is enough to make your existence completely and fully valid.

I am a compulsive doer. It’s hard for me to sit still. I jokingly say I developed maladaptive stress syndrome because I burned out my adrenal glands from doing too much. But maybe it’s not a joke. It should come as no surprise then that I search far and wide for solutions to my problems. I devour every book, every method, every suggestion with frenetic fervor hoping this, this will be the answer. Thus far, the answer has not presented itself. There is nothing worse than telling a compulsive doer there is nothing to be done.

In order for the life you were meant to live to come together, the life you are living now first has to come apart. There is no linear path to one’s evolution. It is a cycle that has to keep undoing itself: the habits, the structures, the comfort, the expectations, the stories that define it -- so that when one’s life as s/he knows it has been totally broken down, only from there is there room for something much greater and truer to sprout from beneath.

Death is a necessary part of the life cycle of all living creatures on this planet. As our own modern science teaches us, nothing truly dies, but only transforms. The story of my natural homebirth is one of the way my life changed; my old self dying while my new self: mother, caretaker, and one with the universe, was born. My old-self died with the birth of my first son. I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy while I gave birth to a new me. My life-partner was also transformed by this process and he became a new man, as I had become a new woman.