presence

Let’s face it: being human isn’t easy. Everyday we are called by curiosity, challenged by confusion and contradiction, confronted with choice, provoked by wonder and awe. We travel a vast emotional landscape, often times getting swept away in a storm of thoughts that pull us far from our bodies, uproot us from our homes and lead us into sentiments of separation. As spirit, living in a human body, we are tasked with the endeavor of exploring our limitless potential within the constraints of our physical reality.

Years ago I read an interview about James Franco’s childhood. When he found out he would die one day, he cried because there were so many things he wanted to do and he didn’t think he’d be able to accomplish them all in his lifetime. I relate, but not exactly in the same way. Yes, there is a lot I want to see and do, but my predominant feeling is that I’m behind. If life were a race, my perception is I’d be losing.

Sometimes, we need to step back and take a breather. There's nothing more unhealthy than forgetting you're alive. How could people forget they're alive, you ask?

Sometimes the most courageous act can be to drop the mind and just be.

When our minds are losing ground in a whirlwind of potential mumbo jumbos and we don't know which way to get pulled away in, there is this sense of being in mid-air. Untethered to our bodies, there is this anxious feeling that we must pick a direction to trail after or we will be left behind by whatever stresses need to be chased somewhere.

“Look past your thoughts, so you may drink the pure nectar of This Moment.”

- Rumi

Yogic thought purports the importance of being mindfully in the present moment, whether in action or in thought. This is a constant struggle in life, practicing presence. Often we hear phrases like “live in the moment,” “be in the present,” and “do it now.” While in a yoga practice, we “breathe into the present moment,” or hear some semblance of: “leave your day at the door, and bring your heart to the mat.”

Have you found yourself rushing to a yoga class? Or perhaps you have found yourself full-on resisting going to yoga, or putting off practicing at home? Oh yes, I have come up with all the excuses. I don’t have time; I have to do X instead; I’m sore; I practiced yesterday; I just ate; I’m too full; It’s selfish right now; My house is messy; My bike has a flat tire; I can’t find my mat; I have to get gas; I’ll be late; I’m already late…sound familiar?

Health food starves the soul. It can starve the body too, depending on what it is, but that’s another conversation. If you want to feel truly alive, nourished and satisfied, you must take care of the needs of your soul as well as those of your body. If you don’t, you’ll begin to feel brittle and hollow, and wonder what’s missing.

If the word “soul” doesn’t make sense to you, that’s fine. Find a word that does. A word for that part of yourself which is your inner knowing, which is rich, vast, unpredictable, wild, and possibly non-physical. That which animates you.

I sat across from a woman at dinner on a Saturday night-- a woman I knew first as a girl, who now has a beautiful girl of her own, and another on the way. Surrounding us were the flesh and faces that accompanied us both during our college days. We had all gathered after many years to celebrate the most recent accomplishment of one of our dear friends, and this had turned out to be a full-fledged college reunion of sorts, complete with the obligatory barrage of surface-level questions better suited for a job interview than a gathering of friends.