- Peace is not an easy thing to find. And it's really a hard thing to define for a lot of people. For some, peace would be not having to make the next car payment, as trivial as that sounds. And for others, peace might mean the relinquishment of past decisions that have plagued them, haunted them, eaten at their consciousness, eaten at their heart and their soul for years, upon years, upon years. And in the business world -- business owners, CEOs, decision makers -- have the largest pile of those things going on in their life or in their conscious, or their psyche, or however you want to put it. So, my job open up the can of worms and start finding night crawlers.
- I'm certain that part of the assistance is the ability to speak to someone and have that person listen deeply. And listen with more than their ears and their current brain, listen what their heart.
Marji: So, I’d like you to tell me a little bit about yourself and how you're coaching, how that works for you and your client?
Dale: Okay. A little bit about myself. You know how it is. It's not always that easy. Although I've been doing it since 1989. It's still not easy when somebody says, “Tell me about you!” Well, I'm not sure exactly what it is “Tell me about yourself really means,” but I've been a motivational speaker and trainer nationally and internationally since 1989. I had an opportunity to work with all the greats and mentor under some of them, and learned from them and took this trade to a place that I think is helpful for people who are involved in the trade (being seminars the coaching and the life coaching, and training) and the things that I've done for all these years. It's just absolutely a blast. So, you wanted to know what is it that it does for the clients?
Marji: If I called you and said, “Hey, Dale. I want some coaching.” What does that look like?
Well, there's a lot of things that would follow that question, but let's pretend they're all answered right. The first one is – honestly this going to sound kind of bizarre – but I don’t and won't offer coaching services to everybody that can fog a mirror. And the reason I don’t do that is because people have to have some level. And this is going to sound bizarre, but it's true. Some level of pain in their life that they need a better way of addressing and a better way of managing. And that’s head pain, heart pain in most cases. So, I ask a whole bunch of questions before we get into coaching at all. And those questions are to uncover the parts of their truth, because often times people who are hurting significantly and particularly men tend to hide the corners of those truth, make it very difficult for you to pry open and see what's underneath of them. And that’s what my job is: to get underneath the truth and look at the choices that are being made together, as one of the resources so that I can help people see their choices. What you asked was ‘What does it do for them?’ To be honest, I pray that it enlightens people. I pray that it changes or gives them an opportunity to alter their life’s course, at a minimum, to have something that we all seek. But to have it on a determine basis, determine meaning. They’ve made a determination, to have some peace. Peace is not an easy thing to find. And it's really a hard thing to define for a lot of people. For some, peace would be not having to make the next car payment, as trivial as that sounds. And for others, peace might mean the relinquishment of past decisions that have plagued them, haunted them, eaten at their consciousness, eaten at their heart and their soul for years, upon years, upon years. And in the business world -- business owners, CEOs, decision makers -- have the largest pile of those things going on in their life or in their conscious, or their psyche, or however you want to put it. So, my job open up the can of worms and start finding night crawlers.
Marji: That’s a great way of putting that. That’s a really great way of putting that.
Dale: Oh, thank you. Well, the reality is that the night crawlers are the ones you want to fish with. The little red worms. They're kind of easy. With some consistency and meditation, some other things that I teach people how to do. Those are relatively easy to manage.
So, how does it help them? I'm certain that part of the assistance is the ability to speak to someone and have that person listen deeply. And listen with more than their ears and their current brain, listen what their heart. And have compassion about what they have to say. So, part of it is just the ability to talk to someone who's not going to judge you about how you're feeling. Human beings are rough on themselves, at the least.
Some are – well, not even kind of rough. Some of them don’t even know their life is underway. And I lovingly – and I mean lovingly, I refer to those people as orcs from The Lord of the Rings. Doesn’t make them bad, that’s just their trade, the way they are.
So, how does the coaching work? I think it works really well for those who will involve themselves and ask the questions and do the actions, because all of my coaching includes activities.
And it doesn’t have to be giant piles of lessons. I mean, it can be one thing this month or this week, or how frequently they're being coached. One thing: I'm a minimalist when it comes to tool alteration, life alteration, judgement alteration, all of that. I'm a minimalist because it's A) doable. You have to give people taste of the success before you can expect them to experience those successes. So, the taste occurs before the experience. And the experience after the taste. So, you got to get in the taste. One little bite here. And just like we did when we all raised our children or the nieces, or the nephews, or whatever -- we all said, “Oh, come on, honey. You just got to try it. This is something that you will really enjoy.”
And the bicycles are a really, really, really good connection to the whole process because in the big seminars that I do (and I do lots and lots of them), but in those seminars, I teasingly have the conversation with the audience about embracing tools and how to do that. And I call one of them the bicycle. And that’s we all had bicycles. We all learned to ride bicycles. We all got on the bicycle. We all had somebody there holding us and running alongside of us, holding the seat and their hand, on the handle bars. And we were tense and freaked out. And they're taking care of us. And then all of a sudden, we noticed they aren't holding on to us anymore.
And the front wheel wobbles like hell and back wheel wobbles and we go down. And the tears are not about the pain. The tears are about the failure. And when we realize that in our lives – when we realize that was in our lives, then we can actually put our arms around it and then hug it back into a better belief for ourselves. A more enjoyable thing. And your parents didn’t take the bicycle and saw it up in tiny pieces and throw it in the garage or the garbage. They said, “Let's try this again. Let's try it just a little differently.” And that’s the essence of master’s level coaching is taking from the client thinking that a bite is enough for a starving man.
Marji: That’s a beautiful, beautiful way of putting it. Really beautiful. Thank you so much, Dale for your time and sharing this with us. And how can someone get a hold of you? And what's the best way to make an appointment?
Dale: The best way is – yeah, it would be probably to email me.
Or go to the 28 day website and contact either – just hit the contact button. Which, by the way, I'm going to be pointing a lot of my coaching students towards in the very near future.
Because it is – it is – it isn't the loss of desire. It's the consistency that slows people down. So, anyway. That’s a good place. 949-981-5484. The number you called is a good number if somebody wants to call me. They can call me.
Marji: Okay. And I know your website is mybeliefsmylife.com. And I believe that 28th day challenge website is – 28daysculptingchallenge.com. Is that correct?
Dale: Yes. I believe that’s correct.
Marji: Okay. I think that’s it, but if not. They can find you on your link on your bio on basmati.com!
Dale: Absolutely. Yes.
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